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Today sucks

February 10, 2012

I am sitting here really struggling not to “eat my emotions”. And all over something that only happened online!

This morning I left an internet-based group that has been a huge help and support to me, because I felt like I needed to leave to be true to myself. No hard feelings against any of the people involved, who are all just doing what they feel is right, but I have worked damn hard over the last few years to get out of the “good girl” mindset. I DO question authority – be that the government, a doctor or a site admin – most of the time I do it in a respectful way and it comes from strong convictions, but I do question and I will continue to question. I am not comfortable in an environment where I feel unable to do this, even if it is just an online one.

An overreaction, leaving? Perhaps. But as I said, this has been an ongoing struggle, to not acquiesce to things just to please others, to do what I feel is right and to speak out about it. I have had bad things happen when I have not done this.

And yes, it’s just the internet. In this case it’s also my support group, my workout buddies, people I consider my friends. I am really, truly, sad. (In more ways than one, you may think!)

Perhaps I will be blogging more this round.

One Comment leave one →
  1. February 13, 2012 3:47 am

    I don’t know which group you are referring to, but I have recently reduced my facebook time, which was a major thing for me, as most of my family, friends, and my support group are on there. I just felt like I had to justify too much and hated reading all the negative self talk. I know it will feel like a big thing for you leaving your support group, but you will be better off without the negative influences. Enjoy your new found freedom!

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